Diabetic air travel: Welcome to the Champagne Room!

The first time a TSA agent escorted me to a 'private screening area' I was terrified. I truly thought someone had planted something in my luggage or my new paint set had some sort of explosive compound. My heart pounded, I became extremely sweaty, I could not control my breathing... I looked guilty!

But no, it was just a misunderstanding about my insulin pump and protocols with the new full body scanners and department policy.

Since then, I've been escorted to the 'champagne room' as I've dubbed the private screening area, on several occasions with escalating hilarity. Kafka couldn't have dreamed this up.

Many people, I'd wager thousands, travel with insulin pumps, continuous glucose monitors and other medical devices every day. Usually, telling your TSA screener that you have one ahead of walking through the scanner is sufficient. You'll just get pulled out of line and have your hands swabbed.

Occasionally, a particular residue in body lotion can alarm the explosive-meter. In this case, you'll likely be asked not to touch anything, identify your belongings and head to a small, private room with multiple agents. They will pat you down THOROUGHLY. I've offered to simply strip for them, but they're not interested.

Although the process is tremendously frustrating, and at times, rather embarrassing, all you can do is roll with it. Try to have a sense of humor. Don't make jokes about anything explosive. And forgo moisturizing until you reach your final destination.